The surgeon cannot keep his hands. They gave him more.

In 2017, local Charlottesville Allie Redshaw had a strange accident that resulted in the amputation of her right hand. Bobby Chhabra, MD, Director of UVA Health Orthopedic Center, carried out emergency operations.

When I sat with Allie, I was preparing for a loss story. Instead, I found myself very touched by the capacity of humans to find a miracle and create connections from a destroying state.

Allie tells the story.

That incident

I am a chef who is formally trained. I went to the American culinary institute at Hyde Park, New York. This is a formal education for all matters of hospitality and culinary, including the use of large industrial machines.

On March 1^St.2017, I work in the morning in Lampo. I was there with 2 coworkers. We always get there at the same time, and we do the same assignment every day.

My husband Ian and I just found out that we were pregnant with Willow. I just took a pregnancy test like maybe 5 or 6 days before that. We are still very early in pregnancy. Our other daughter is around 18 months old.

That day, my gloves were pulled down to the meat grinder.

Live instinct

There are so many people who say, “Wow, you are very inspiring; you have overcome too much!” There is no much time to just sit with what happened.

I don’t know how I can become verbal.

My cellphone is locked. It has a keypad that requires my face or code, so I have to tell my colleague code to my cellphone so they can call Ian and tell him that I was hurt. And I can leave the paramedics that I am pregnant.

I think it’s only one of the crazy mom’s instinctive things. All your instincts, all the treatments and care that you put in your body for moments like this, all kick.

It happened so fast. You are not really sitting and thinking about how you can survive. It’s crazy and extraordinary.

Paramedics can try to remove the grinder in place. The risk is blood loss, or hitting something in my body which is very important, or can’t go to the hospital on time. Instead, they contacted the hospital and contacted someone at Pediatri at the ER to discuss what they could give me and what they could not give to me so that the baby was safe.

I remember being on a stretcher with a grinder in my lap. They put a piece on the grinder because at first, the grinder was still in my arm, and there was a piece of my finger and my arm on the floor. And clearly blood is everywhere.

There are many trucks and lots of sirens. I remember out of the front door and that was the last thing I remember until I was in the triage.

Wake up for new reality

I remember getting up in recovery and my husband was there. First and especially, he told me that Willow was fine. That was the first thing he said to me and the first thing I asked. And then he told me that my hand had been amputated.

I remember saying, “Why?” I have many questions.

For Dr. Chhabra and Ian, there are many difficult choices that must be made when I can’t make it myself.

The decision to be fully amputated is a difficult decision. I’m left -handed. There is a part that is left in my hand that has a little pinkie, some meat. They have to think about my future and the use of prosthetic. If I want to go back to the kitchen again, what is my most efficient choice?

Chhabra, during surgery, slipped my nerves back to my arm, so there was no unnecessary termination. It prevents a lot of ghost leg pain. Because the way he dealt with the remaining nerves and the catheter of the nerve blocks they put into my shoulder, most of me live freely from the discomfort that is sick or nerve. This is very big. For most of the amputation that I encountered, it was a big part of their journey – navigating the pain that came unexpectedly.

So I consider myself to be very, very, very lucky that Dr. Chabra is diligent like him, and his treatment team is diligent like them.

To Dr. Chhabra, I owe everything in the world. I think he is the surgeon and the most extraordinary person. He made all the choices he made to keep Willow and I am safe and functional as we can.

Recovery & Discovery: Post-Samputation Therapy

After I was released from the hospital, health at home came out to the house and continued to ensure that the bandage was changed, examined nerve blocks, and took my weight to ensure that Willow was fine. So many care.

I do physical therapy (PT) through UVA’s health. They are amazing, really extraordinary. I have a very great therapeutic experience, PT and occupational therapy. I did a lot of desensitization exercises. They are very challenging physically, but also emotionally very triggering, only dividing nerves and skin with sensations that they have never felt before.

You don’t think about it, how the situation will be felt at the tip of your arm, or your wrist, but the skin there is very different. Your hands have calluses, built for years.

They will have a little warm candle, and I will gently make my skin accustomed to a warm sensation. Then put my arm in a bucket of dried rice, accustomed to a feeling of thorny.

I also do a lot of mirror therapy, which stimulates various parts of your brain where you understand your abilities and sensations and what is there and what is not.

Welcoming Willow

For many of my pregnancy, I am very depressed. I feel my career is completely stripped. I am a creature that is very active, physically, and everything is stopped. That is a big part of my mental health: my mind still happens, and I have all these things to worry all the time, and I can’t issue it.

I’m not sure how I will overcome that. I can’t really see the path forward.

And then Willow was born and of course, it was a great excitement and celebration. And it feels like a big obstacle that we have gone through – to find out that Willow is safe, and only my body that I am worried about now. I can start moving again. I can start outside. I can start to push myself more.

I began to see a little more light in the sky every day.

Live after birth

I was advised to check this amputated rock clinic in Colorado. And that is everything to me: meeting other amputated people, seeing other people who have been navigating this since birth, the amputated person who has served in the military and has a terrible accident. Some of them have lived for years with post-traumatic stress disorders.

Only this new world for me. I can ask questions like, “I know this is really stupid, but how do you hold your fork?” Or “How do you button your pants?” or “How do you tie your shoes?” I feel like a child, studying everything new again.

And that was amazing. Watching friends without feet binding to Harness and only use their arms to get to the peak-that is just a really surprising experience. I learned a lot. I got so many perspectives. I feel very honorable and happy and grateful to be there.

The woman who hosted the clinic, Kirsty Ennis, is now one of my best friends and mentors. He lost his left foot in a helicopter accident. He started a non -profit organization, the Kristie Ennis Foundation, and was a force that must be taken into account.

Or there is molly, whose daughter is born with differences in limbs. He needs a community, so he starts an organization that hosts the weekend festival every year, Lucky Fin. It became a big sensation. There are famous athletes, musicians, actresses, people with different bionic arms, all daughters with different bionic pieces. This is the whole world and very cool. I felt like I was a little diving into this big wave.

So many in the disabled community do this now – creating space for those who are new in the community. You feel very isolated and alone, and then you are only shrouded in this knowledge and wisdom and welcome, such as, “hey, we know it’s all new, but guess, we will navigate through it together. And if you have questions, you can call, and if you need a part for your prosthetic, this must be reached.” There is only a large network of ICLUSION and this selfless action. I will not be anywhere without the community.

Climb with gratitude

I got my Yoga teacher certification. It was only a gift for my mind and my body and mental health, once again, challenging myself in a new movement, ways that I can adapt and make it mine. I am actually in the process of starting a non -profit organization with 2 other innate amputations that live in various parts of the world. This is called adapting together, and last year, we host our first adaptive yoga retreat for women with body differences, and we did it here in Virginia. This year, we host the new year’s adaptive yoga retreat for women with differences in extremities in California.

I climbed the mountain, I did yoga, and I was in a competitive climbing circuit. Twice I left the Solo Water in, which is a form of rock climbing where you are outside, on water, not bound.

You have just risen as high as you can and then you fall into the water.

And every time I see Dr. Chhabra, I finally cried. I just do not believe how something that is so tragic can open the way for something that is so beautiful with so much adventure, so many moments of learning and teaching.